...HE LEFT ME...

He left me… yeah, you heard right, do I wish he never left? Yes, every time. He left me not because he didn’t love me enough, in fact, he loved me sincerely. He left me because he had no choice himself, I’m sure he fought hard to stay but then he had to surrender, he had to move to a better place called eternity. I’m just left with sweet memories of how he loved and how he cracks me up with his teases and handsome smiles with beautiful dimples. Gooosh …. I miss him so much.

I met him sometimes around 2012, he was the best friend to my boyfriend at that time. He was really handsome, he had one of the brightest smiles and dimples I've seen. I saw the realness in his friendship with his friend, I saw his desire and hunger to succeed in life, I could perceive his quest for purity each time we have sincere conversations, he was super friendly with me, maybe because I was his friend's babe, but he always gave me attention and he would whine me a lot till I tear up from laughing so much.

I didn’t always see him often, but I always ensured we kept in touch through chats, calls, or speak to him when I speak with his friend. He would even sometimes attend my church back at home anytime he knows I’m around.

I chatted him up sometimes in April 2017 and I promised to see him when I come around just for me to get a call from his friend to say “Pexxzy is gone”. I asked, gone to where, he said to me “Dorcas Pexxzy is dead, Pexxzy is no more”. I asked what happened, I was told he complained of having slight chest pain and he was rushed to the hospital and that was the end o. It shattered me. It was my first time losing a friend really dear to me.

But something funny happened, the night before he passed on, I was super restless that I began to pray so hard, I remember I was begging the Holy Spirit to allow me to sleep, I prayed restlessly, paced around my room, went to the kitchen, went to the toilet but all I was doing was crying and praying, I didn’t know why I couldn’t place my hands on the reason for my crying. Only for me to wake up the next morning to hear the news that our friend was no more.

I cried; I was bitter. I had questions to ask but then another funny thing happened, the night after his demise, I heard 3 knocks on my door, I felt he came to bid me final farewell. I know you might be thinking these things don’t happen but I can bet with you that they were not my imaginations. I heard the knocks. I cherish the memory of him coming to say his final goodbyes before leaving the earth. Thank you Pexxzy for the honor.

Here is what his best friend has to say about his friend:

 “I lost a friend,  I lost a dear friend, I lost a friend I have not been able to replace. He was my best friend, the most painful part of losing him was that at the time we were just recovering from a fight we had. I remember telling him good night, the night before he died. I learned a lot, one of the things I learned is say the things you need to say, do the things you need to do because you might never get a second chance. I love you Pexxzy, I would forever do”.

The death of a loved one is a pain that no one can help you with, time doesn’t heal the pain like people say. Time allows you to embrace the reality that they are no more and help you live with the memories. The pain doesn’t really go, but the sweet memories help you believe you would meet again.

To everyone grieving, I pray for strength for you to go through this phase, I pray the Lord to hold your hands in this season and comfort you Himself. Cry if you need to, don’t bottle up your emotions, pain also wants to be expressed like love. Express your pain and live with the memories.

Lastly, live your life like it is your last, do the things you need to do, say the things you need to say. Live intentionally and impact your world. Imagine your funeral and picture what you want people to say about you when you are gone. And finally, Live in the fear of God and allow the Holy Spirit to help you navigate through this journey of life.

This post is dedicated to Oluwapelumi Victor Akinsipe aka Pexxzy. I write this in loving memory of you. Keep resting, I really miss you and I have gist to give you but I’m sure you are smiling at all of us right now. I love you Pexxzy, we all do miss you especially your family and your best friend.

Till I write to you again, remember to live intentionally.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share.

All my love,

Tolulope.