I HAD A FLING

 

Yup.. I had a fling. No one is a Saint. Stop rolling your eyes at me. Yes you... Lol.. It was my past anyways but let me give you the gist. 

It was at a time in my life, I had just left university and I didn't have any serious relationship. I was just doing "good geh upandan" and I wanted to try the "bad geh" role.. Lol. Then I met this guy, he was cool, first he invited me to see a movie with him at the cinema. We ate, played games. It was a fun evening and we enjoyed ourselves. Then we lost contact, and so there was distance. 

Then some months later, we met again and we were in each others radar. So i decided to flirt with him knowing that it wasn't going to go anywhere, I just wanted to distract myself and get attention from a man. I just wanted to switch from who I was to who I wasn't. I wanted to feel among. 

He started coming to visit me, we started to enjoy each others company but I knew something wasn't right, he began to tell me lies.. Lol.. That he wanted me in his life blah blah.. But i knew they were lies, I knew the whole thing wasn't going to last. Then one day, from no where I confronted him and asked him about his babe, he began to stammer. Then it dawned on me that, he also wanted to catch cruise with me.. Lol.. I just scattered the whole thing.. Didn't I regret it.. Maybe? because I wasted time and resources. I knew the fling thing wasn't going to work for me because every time he comes around or I see him I always feel I'm in the wrong path and I always sense that I'm not making God happy, but my flesh wouldn't let me be.. Lol. 

This reminds me of how we settle for less when God gives us promises and a good example that comes to mind is the story of Isaac and Ishmael. 

Isaac was God's promise but it was too long for Abraham and Sarah, they felt they couldn't wait that they had to opt out for Ishmael. 

I've learnt that each time God gives us a promise, we don't have to do anything other than Believe, wait on him and ask for instructions per time. Each time we want to do something with our head or emotions, we always fall into error. 

God's timing might seem so long but settling for a shorter or lesser promise would cost you more.  Waiting for the promise builds your faith. And solidifies your relationship with God. Holding on to the promises isn't delay or lateness. It is surrendering totally to God's will because you've submitted your will to him. You don't have choice other than what he tells you to do because you have to trust his word / promise more than the breath you breathe. 

Submission of will is important in waiting for the promise. My pastor once told me. She said it is easy to let go of  Isaac than Ishmael because you put in more Physical effort in birthing Ishmael but it takes Faith and grace to birth Isaac. Which practically requires no human effort other than your spiritual connectedness. So is your promise. So for every promise God has given you, you don't have to do nothing by your might but by His Spirit and your Faith in the giver of the promise. After all, you didn't do anything to cajole him before he gave you the promise. So thank him for the fulfilment of the promise and believe in your heart for the manifestations. 

I pray for everyone reading this that may your heart be strengthened to hold unto your promise and may God help you not settle for less or even an Ishmael. 

Trust this blessed you?

Till I write to again 

All my love 

Tolulope.