MY FIRST LOVE

 

Hey fam, how are you you doing? Happy valentine in arrears. I'm still in the euphoria of love and I'm so grateful for the relationships I have in my life. I feel so blessed having you all... I'm really a wealthy woman because of you all. 

Today, I would be giving you gist about my first love... Yass.. Stop rolling your eyes at me... Someone has got to be the first, right? 

 I had my first love in secondary. Lol... I'm not a bad girl, but there was just this boy that wouldn't make me rest.. He was cute, brilliant and funny in his way. 

I got into my first relationship out of curiosity especially because my mum told me "boys are bad" and I'm like, let me try it for myself and then this boy comes around and started to chyke (slang for giving a girl attention) me, telling me how beautiful I was, helping me with my debates, he then became my co-debater... Lol.. I started to have butterflies... #coveringface. He started to challenge me with the way he speaks, truth be told, he speaks well and also because I was not taught on how to respond to opposite sex liking me, I didn't know it was OK to crush on a guy and not date him. I wasn't taught how to navigate through my emotions at such a tender age. I couldn't speak to anyone about it other than my friends who also had boyfriends, so their advice was, you like him, he likes you. Go for him. 

So one day, during extra cool (mid night call, usually free from 12am - 4:30am),I can't even remember who called who, all I can remember was that we were on the call for long and then he popped the question, would you be my girlfriend?  I said yes without thinking.. Lol.. but we promised to keep it a secret for as long as we can.. #smiles.. I only told my best friend and he also told few of his friends. We told ourselves we wouldn't talk to each other in school #laughing. Then he left my school for another school and the whole drama started, I started to have palpitations when I can't reach him.. Goosh, it wasn't an healthy feeling at all.. I became a worried girl each time I'm not able to reach him... Chai things I've put this my heart through ehn... #pityface 

The relationship lasted for a few years, we broke up when I entered uni, he was a really good guy though. Until my adult life, it was really hard letting go of the emotional attachment, not because I didn't have other relationships after him but because he exposed me to what it means to love another being outside your blood. I remember how the crazy sacrifices we made just to assure each other of our love.  My first love experience actually made me believe in love and we did try to fight for the love to be sustained but life happened. #sadface 

Our first love experience really has a way of affecting our perception but we have a God who loved us even before we could think about being born. He wrote our the details of our lives in his palm and yet carried us in our mother's womb. 

The love God has for us is so unending that you can't miss it with him. I used to have the feeling of, I would miss it with especially when I do something I'm not proud of myself, then I pinch myself to say He factored in my foolishness when he was creating me so nothing can separate me from that love He has for me, he doesn't break up with me because of my mess up, I don't have to fight to keep the love instead the His love for me fight for me to get it right without being us. 

Just like the boy asked me out to be his girlfriend, God is asking you out to be His forever, don't worry about being perfect. He told Abraham, "walk before me and be perfect"... He's more interested in your walk and fellowship with him than your activities to be perfect. 

God's love is the only love that can get you through life and you don't have to do nothing other than believing. Just say this with me with your eyes closed. "Father thank you for loving me, I would no longer fight your love for me. Today, I release my mind, my feelings, my fears to walk with you. Take the lead of my life because I know the plans you have for me are the best. Thank you Father for loving me even in my lowest form. I love you Lord" 

Trust this blessed you but I would love to hear your first love gist, send me an email, let's catch up. My email is otoluwalopemi@gmail.com. 

Don't forget to comment and share with your friends and loved ones. 

All my love. 

Tolulope.